so now you're in college
you're out on your own
and you wish to indulge;
to go out on the town

you hear of a house party
in some off-campus place
you decide just to get there
either stag or a date.

you first try the miller
but that was too light

you then taste the budweiser
but that's not quite right

here, have some newcastle
now that's a bit better

oh shit you just spilt some
all over my sweater

Let's have margaritas
and other mixed drinks

Cap'n morgan and cuervo
have entered the rink.

You mix in some coke
and some lemonade too

You don't care no more
all you want is more booze

you start chugging cheap wine
and cheaper champagne

you chat up some girl
with mush for a brain

then you black out!
you wake up in your dorm

you're next to your vomit
and the hallway ain't warm

you need to get back there
and find your damn car

okay, I know this time
I went way too far

so next time you want to just chug like a sink
you kids, please remember
JUST DON'T DRIVE AND DRINK.