Hey lady, Shut The Fuck Up!


I got bored during 3rd period when we were supposed to be practicing timed writing skills. I decided to write a sort of satirical stream of consciousness so I could have something entertaining to do while still appearing to be working on an essay. Here are the results:

I wish I was superman then I could fly away from school school is dumb I'm hungry when I get out of school im gonna go eat chinese food I hear chinese people don't eat real chinese food like you get at wok & roll just plain white rice borrring!!!

If I were a badger I could crawl into a hole that would be cool id do a badger dance and eat mushrooms all day and fart then id fly to the moon because badgers are tiny.

You know what would be cool I wish i were a moth because Dumb people would would think i was a butterfly how stupid is that butterflies are pussies now moths are hella cool theyre like big ass tiny ass war machine insects I hope we do genetic experiments and make big ass moths that take over eath and are radioactive like godzilla it would be awesome

the other day I was talking with osama bin laden hes actually a nice guy when you get to meet him
"What's up my man Osama?" I asked he was like "I was framed what the fuck now george bush invaded my fucking cave just because saddam hussein used my evil clone to destroy the world trade center what a gyp."
ANOTHER FUCKING PAPERCUT. Gahhhhh. I now have three fine lacerations on my left index finger. One was from yesterday when a loose staple in my binder ripped off a chunk of dermis from the inner side. It was bleeding goddamit. The second is from my binder this morning, when it clamped on my finger and sliced a deep hole in the tip. The mothefucking tip!

Good thing I'm a self-taught typist and can easily use my middle finger in place of my index or it might have been a good week before you'd have heard about my petty woes.

The third I just noticed and it's on the top right at the knuckle closest to the nail. THEY FUCKING STING WHY DOESNT SOMEBODY JUST FUCKING AMPUTATE MY GODDAMN FINGER AND GET IT OVER WITH.
Thank you.


Blearggh I'm tired today.
Today has been kind of sucking, had some bitches insult gamma squad and myself among various other things.
I have a message to all assholes out there:

Ok, I feel less shitty now.

By the way, we may be changing the title of gamma squad to "Dispensable".

Viva le revo1337cion!


Nate's new blog is getting comments up the wazoo.
I'm jealous. I've been blogging for four years. He posts for a week and already has a little hoard of groupies.
Psh. Newbies.


Movie and Production stills of Gamma Squad have now been uploaded for a sneak peek.

So guess what? Neight got a little blog all for himself!
Check out: Quiet; the Great One speaks.
(It's actually quite kickass)
Production for Scene 2 of Gamma Squad has been completed.
So much happened today, I'm gonna have to fill you all in at some point. Not tonight though. I'll suffice to say it was interesting.

After the shoot, Alex and I digitized the footage, and I then diced it up real nice. I should be able to make some headway on the rough cut tomorrow.


Finals done. Phew.
Gamma Squad Tech Check scheduled for the 23rd, we'll be testing the air cannon and blood pump.
Gamma Squad shooting scheduled for the 24th.


One might say
he was as
cool as a cucumber

The problem is
that my cucumber
is quite warm.

You see, if you
leave a cucumber
out on the

it begins to
heat up and

Now, if I
were to slice
up my heated

I would most
likely find
it sour

so the moral
of the story
is to

keep your cucumber
inside until
you plan

to eat it.
the end

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Added Duke Nukem 3d, Amazing Spider-man, KGB, and Liero to Games.
I've updated my homepage to version 2.4, meaning that the entire site should be veiwable by any browser.
I've eliminated the frameset option, because frames essentially go against the concept of the web. And besides (Neight would agree), they're stupid.

I've also added a "last updated" line at the bottom of the index page.


Stinky and boughten
at the bargain fruit stand
wrinkly and rotten
it squelches in hand

My rotten tomato
so ripe and so red
I squeeze and the juices
pour down on my head

It dribbles and drabbles
down the back of my shirt
not ribald, but rabble
so rancid it hurts

For tomato juices
it'd spoil my press
it's practically useless
'cept for making a mess

My rotten tomato
so flat and so red
my rotten tomato
all over my head.

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I was just told that many high school courses will no longer be offering 'D' letter grades. This means that if you get below a 'C-', you get an automatic 'F'.
That sucks.

On a lighter note, here is a list of Lord of the Rings characters and their equivalent musicians:

  • Aragorn - Peter Gabriel (or Roger Waters)

  • Gimli - ZZ Top

  • Legolas - Justin Tyler

  • Gandalf - Ravi Shankar

  • Saruman - Mick Jagger

  • Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin - *NSYNC

  • Arwen - Enya


Here is a transcript of an interview recently completed on KGB News Talk Radio with Rosti Strostakoff.
Rosti Strostakoff: Greetings, comrade. Welcome to the program.
Eliot Lash: Much obliged.
RS: So comrade Lash, our listeners have a few questions for you.
EL: Is this going to be an interrogation? Cause I'm protected by international law.
RS: No, it's more like a magazine quiz.
EL: Ah.
RS: Our first question is from Ivan Schobskachevsky-ivonavich of Krakow. He writes:
"Eliot, why do I suck, and you pj0wnz so much?"
EL: I've been contemplating this very question since, oh, about fifteen minutes ago. My theory is that each human is born with a certian amount of "radons", also known as "the awesome factor". Conclusive experiments with test subjects (myself and Neight) show that we were born with an abonormally high awesome factor. Lesser creatures such as yourself, Ivan, are born not so awsome.
RS: Thank you comrade. We now go live to Vladamir Ulyeskavich for traffic report.
Vladamir Ulyeskavich: Traffic does not look too good down here in Stalingrad. The soviet war machine has stalled on the interunion, causing a massive backup from here to Moscow. Back to you, Rosti.
RS: Thank you comrade Vladamir. We return to the interview with comrade-
EL: Don't call me comrade.
RS:-uh, Mr. Lash-
EL: *cough*commiebastard*cough*
RS: Shut your greedy trap, you capatalist pig dog!
Announcer: This edition of KGB News Talk Radio has been brought to you by the people and SSNN, the Soviet Socialist News Netwerk.
Hey! If there is one thing I can assure you is that this post was NOT made by a communist! Or a fuckjob! It was made by Neight. Who is even worse. Yah! Eliot is watching me write this. Too bad I know his password anyway. No Eliot I will not tell you. I a m a 1337 Ha><0R! You whore! I rhyme. All the time. It is sublime. I am commiting a crime. I will be fined a dime. I... Half... Jail... GRIME! There we go. Aw fuck this.


I just thought up a great name for a band: Beaver Cream. I'm constantly thinking up names for bands. I think I'll start a file keeping track of all my band names.



At 6th period again. Oh, bell rang. Never mind.


Ode to a Radish

I heareth a sound
and turn'st around
to find a red radish
at rest on the ground.

Who hath placed you here
O riveted radish
Drank he too much beer
and a salad established?

"Nay," quoth the radish
though veggies can't talk
"I was ripp'd from my crevice
Pulled right by the stalk

and the man who had yanked me
took a bite with a sting
with a holler he spat me
and me did he fling

so here'st I rest
torn up on the ground
tastless at best
and imperfectly round."

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Bleargh. Break ends today.
Whoever invented mondays was evil indeed.


I'm back home again, much to my dissapointment. I have earned my Advanced Open Water certification, and should be receiving my c-card in the mail soon. w00t.